Assuming innocence

This is a catch phrase that I learned at work during a class aimed at improving our work life. Every time I go through one of these classes, I have feel good moments and a-ha moments that seem to be life changing. But after a couple of weeks, the newness wears off and I start to forget about what I learned. I guess that’s why they have these classes yearly and use the buzz words in our company newsletters. Anyhoo, what was I saying? Oh yeah, assuming innocence.

The concept is not new. It’s just being repackaged. Back in the day we learned that “assume” meant don’t make a ‘you know what’ out of U and ME (think donkey for those of you that haven’t had your morning coffee yet). It’s something that we ALL need to be reminded of, and quite often, if I do say so myself. For me, it happens all the time. I think partly because I analyze for a living. Which means I’m constantly trying to think of the ‘what ifs’ before they happen so they can be avoided. But partly because I’m a perfectionist and I try to prepare of anything (I know, a lot of you are surprised that I call myself a perfectionist given I have a whole room affectionately called “the junk room”).

It happens when I read comments on Facebook. It happens when I get text messages and emails. It even happens in face to face conversations. Someone makes an innocent statement and I misinterpret what they meant. Next thing you know, I’m all worked up about nothing. Sometimes I even respond by inserting my size 8.5-9 foot into my mouth. But sometimes it’s not me doing the assuming. Sometimes my bluntness causes other people to assume. It’s my “lack of sugar coating” some people say. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have time for sugar coating. But I think most of the time, a little sugar coating up front could make for a nicer dessert at the end.

So, let me get to the point. From now on, or at least until I forget, I will make an attempt to assume innocence on your part. And I ask that you do the same. If you ever think that I meant something in a bad or mean way, ask me if that’s what I meant. Don’t talk about me. Don’t plot your revenge. Don’t tattle to the teacher (as we used to say). Simply ask me what I meant. And I’ll do the same.